SUNBURNT TERRACE - Indian football should be ashamed of their absence at FIFA Women's World Cup 2023

MY FIRST MEMORY of a FIFA World Cup goes back to 1994. I was six years old, and my father had bought our first ever TV set - a 14 inch black and white stereotypical idiot box that never worked properly from day one - specifically so we could watch late night matches on DD 1. Little me, who resented being told to go to sleep, had the time of his short life with those extra waking hours; the whole family huddled in front of the tiny screen. 

Only two memories from that event are fresh in my mind to this day. The first was Baggio's penalty miss in the final. As someone supporting Brazil, it was my first time witnessing that moment of triumph. The other moment, however, was much less pleasant.

When my father explained the concept of the tournament to me, I naively asked, when was India's match? He told me, in the typical weary tone that I would come to hear in the voices of many disillusioned Indian football fans, that we were not playing. We never did; because we were not good enough.

1994 not only opened up the world of football to me, but it also showed me exactly where we were as a nation. And the feeling it gave me - from when I first heard it to this day - was a sense of shame. It was probably the first time I was ashamed of something that I had not done myself. 

Today, the FIFA Women's World Cup 2023 kicked off and I feel the exact same feeling of profound shame. I have felt it every single time there has been a World Cup. 

Perhaps inevitably, this shame has come to shape my perception of Indian football and what it's truly about beyond the familiar bubble of clubs and rivalries.

The core product of Indian football - what we are in the business of selling here - is hope. Fans old and new are told to support today so that one day we are able to stand shoulder to shoulder with world class teams. As a business pitch, its success has been lukewarm at best. 9 years after FSDL's nationwide push to popularise the sport, it's still not the number two most popular sport in India; which it arguably was two decades ago.

Why is that? Why does the prospect of India making it in a truly global sport not excite the populace? The answer perhaps lies in the low standards we set for ourselves. Earlier today, our men's team rose to the 99th place in FIFA rankings, as we do every few years before slipping down again. This is being celebrated like it's a big deal, demonstrating our comfort in mediocrity. As for the women's team, we often marvel at how much higher their rank is compaed to the men's team and leave it at that. But we never feel ashamed that despite decades of effort we are still not as good as we were in the 1980s.

Hope, on its own, is hollow. If the failure to achive a target does not cause shame and sorrow, then there are no real stakes at all.

This happens often in club football. A team underperforms, gets relegated and such. The fanbase loses enthusiasm, and despite the management's promises of reviving the good old days, the fans get used to failure. Then, slowly, the turnout gets smaller and smaller. The hardcore fans stick around but the majority stop caring.

On social media we see fans from other nations react with anger and sadness when they fail to qualify for the World Cup. Here, in our Miltonian prison, we are happy to just reign in SAFF.

With the men's team, we have seen the reasons, factors, excuses all being put under every electron microscope the human intellect can produce. For the women's team, however, the discussion is muted. Since there's no shame, we hardly ever ask why our team, which has been in the top 60 forever, doesn't break into the top 32 and play in the World Cup.

No one wants to invite pain and sadness into their lives. But it's important that we start feeling it. Because we can see what happens when we don't.

The truth is, we don't deserve what the women's team has delivered for us. Even though it has been clear for years that they are our best shot at making it to the World Cup, AIFF never bothered to build a professional structure that would make football a viable career for women. We didn't have a national league until recently, and before next season it will not have a proper season with home-away format. Even this year, the stadium, the lodging and practice facilities in IWL were extremely poor. And this is right after India has hosted the Women's Asian Cup and the FIFA U-17 Women's World Cup.

Increasing the sport's popularity by hosting major tournaments has failed to produce a proof of concept; perhaps because the COVID-19 pandemic set back our youth development by years and ruined the careers of an untold number of aspiring footballers. The fans, too, came to see the big games, saw our team get rendered helpless in nearly evert match, and gave up on the sport.

While the politicians and officials got their moment in domestic media thanks to hosting a glitzy event, the picture of Indian football that went out to the international media was not what they intended. The world saw us as a country with an undeserving team that was playing in the junior World Cup because of its valuable market. It's not lost on anyone, except perhaps ourselves, that when FIFA called India the 'sleeping giant' they were referring to our population, not our players.

This should cause us shame too.

When the USA team arrived in Bhubaneswar to play in the FIFA U-17 Women's World Cup, they made a big media showcase out of donating balls and shoes to the girls of a nearby academy, and beat us 8-0 the next day. While we were all talking about Mia Bhuta's Indian origin, we missed the whole plot about them finding a proper, registered academy in the middle of a World Cup host city where the girls did not balls and shoes.

That's who we are. For shame.

Eight goals for the @USYNT to begin their campaign!

Their biggest victory in their #U17WWC history! #KickOffTheDream pic.twitter.com/ZoId2ol6gK

— FIFA Women's World Cup (@FIFAWWC) October 11, 2022

The little me that worshipped Ronaldo (the original one) would be shocked to know that he would come to detest the yellow Brazil jersey from the shame of being thrashed by them in the U-17 Women's World Cup. It took a 5-0 humiliation in front of my eyes, and the palpable gloom that descends on the stadium when things go horribly wrong, for me to realise that our love for Brazil or Argentina is just a tool for turning a blind eye our own shortcomings. We should be their rivals, not worshippers. For shame.

It's not like we don't know what's wrong. Especially when it comes to women's football, the pathway to true improvement is pretty clear. USA became a world beaters because of their Title IX regulations that mandated that there could be no gender discrimination in educational institutions. This meant that the girls would get the exact same number of sports scholarships as boys. So a lot more girls took up football (or soccer, as they insist on calling it) in school/college, and here we are. Incentivise participation, increase quality.

We have seen this in Indian women's football too. Manipur are a powerhouse because the state government offered some good sports scholarships for girls. And the society there - despite its numerous of flaws and conflicts - is more enouraging towards girls playing sports than most other states. Many major women footballers in India today come from working class families in Manipur, and the scholarship was a big reason they took up the sport at an early age.

So, unlike hosting big tournaments, the scholarship system has proof of concept to back it up. And everyone, from AIFF to IOA to SAI to state and national governments, have the relevant data. But few have acted on it. Because losing 5-0 to Brazil does not make them feel any shame.

We are just 28 spots away from the World Cup. Just 28. Without any major investment into Indian women's football in living memory. It's painfully obvious that a little bit of effort will get us there, by merit, without having to spend millions on hosting the tournament. Yet when it comes the time to act, our national pride vanishes because we don't feel any shame.

AIFF has included lofty goals for women's football in its Vision 2047 mission document. However, we have not seen the Federation make much progress in getting the government on board to support their project, despite the management's proximity to the party in power. Scholarships, infrastructure improvement, incentives for clubs... everything requires government support in India. Yet, what we are getting is Indian teams being barred from playing in Asian Games because of an arbitrary "medal prospect" standard and inter-personal politics within the Indian Olympics Association.

The IOA are quick to share Dalima Chibber's incredible free kick goal on their social media handles, but when it comes to helping Indian football, they feel free to kick us down. They feel no shame, because we don't.

Such shameless people jumping in for some limelight. Not everyone has a short memory, no Indian football fan has forgotten what you’ll did during the Asian Games.

— The Footy Traveller (@footytraveller_) March 25, 2019

These days, when talking to fellow fans about India's prospects of playing in a World Cup, I find myself speaking in the same tone that was in my father's voice when he first told me that we were not good enough. The cycle of disillusionment is repeating itself. And every time we lose out in the World Cup Qualifiers, it chips away at hope; Indian football's core product, and our last refuge.

There can be no hope without shame. We, the football fans, should be demanding brats who want unreasonably good performances from our players and officials. We should not listen to logic and pour out our sadness in the form of anger every time we lose, regardless of how much higher ranked the opponents are.

Just today, 26th ranked New Zealand upset 12th ranked Norway at the Women's World Cup. They got their big moment at home, because they put in the work before inviting the world to their shores. No one is making photo ops out of distributing shoes to academies in their host cities.

We should demand the same from AIFF. We should be selfish, like we are in club football. Our team must win at the expense of others. To hell with humanity, solidarity and fraternity. First we win, then we can talk big causes.

And until we achieve our rightful place in the football world, we should feel deep, seething shame for every failure that comes our way. And drill that same feeling into all those who are in charge of football in this country.

We have held onto hope forever. And it has not worked. We are not in the World Cup, and normalising this failure is killing our future.

The carrot alone is not enough. It's time for the stick to play its part.

Get the latest in the world of Sports, Teams, and Players! Free Delivery to your Inbox.